Please Keep Off Grass
An occasional column from Neal Garnett. SWO presenterar stolt vår senaste kolumnist från London
Neal Garnett är en "hardcore" supporter från London som i ett personligt perspektiv kommer att kompletera de andra under rubriken "Our Guys in SW6". Tanken är att Neal ska ge sin egen form av nulägesanalys ungefär var fjortonde dag.
Mycket nöje!
London Life chapter 1
‘I’d rather be a Baggies fan than a Fulham fan’ sighed a bitter Adrian Childs (presenter of BBC Radio 5 Live’s national midweek phone in) across the medium wave at 10.20pm on Wednesday. I, and I know I wasn’t alone, fumbled for my mobile and tried desperately to remember the talk show’s number…07800 909..no 0800..sh.ite I have to drop the zero 800.. got it 500 909693. Bollox its engaged…keep trying! Yes! I’m through and, after convincing them of the merit of my argument, (and I guess showing some ability to articulate it) I’m in the queue to speak to the disconsolate pseudo- Brummie. Some of my Scandinavian readers may not know, but the aforementioned Mr Childs, is a die-hard West Brom fan. The hole that is Loftus Road is conveniently just round the corner from the BBC’s studios at White City so, the poor soul had been able to witness the most of The Baggies’ second half humiliation. Most importantly, he had seen all 3 goals before darting-off to prepare for his talk show.
The basis of his slanderous comments was that Fulham had: no fans, no spirit, no future. And, as West Brom had all of this he would rather be a Baggie than a White. What tosh!!
I reminded Childs that our fan base had grown by 500% in 7 years after a previous decade or so of misery, Clay and Bulstrode’s attempted rape and pillage, and a slow descent towards oblivion. Yes many fans felt disenfranchised by the move away from The Cottage and some were voting with their feet. No, I couldn’t empathies with them, but they are Fulham supporters (of sorts) who will return when we get back to SW6. Didn’t Childs see that to recapture 2 or 3 lost generations of supporters took more than a few years?..etc etc etc. Somewhat shell-shocked… He had no answer. I then, quite objectively, assassinated his team-verbally, of course- and ended up with the immortal line of ‘I’m not taking the Micky but I think you (West Brom) are doomed’..his response of ‘I haven’t the heart to argue with you’ sealed the second victory of the evening for the mighty Whites.
Enough of chit chat…lets have a quick insight into goings on at the club. Most of you will have been surprised by Sean (who was in line for his 100th appearance) and Harley’s absence on Wednesday. Your columnist can clear that up for you. The great Mr Simon Morgan revealed to me that both had been stricken by flu on the day of the game and had been sent home. Mother Nature’s intervention allowed Wome and Ina to take the stage. The former, after a less than assured start, performed creditably and his goal was a bona fide thunderbolt. To demonstrate I’m not infallible, as he was lining up the FK I said to a (neutral) mate of mine up from Bournemouth for the evening ‘this one will be into the stand’, luckily for Brom’s Sean Gregan he thought twice about standing on the line by the post..he would have lost his bloody (and slightly fat, if you ask me) head. Ina whilst anchored a bit too deep played ok: nice technique but there is still a big question mark about his ability to cut it physically in the Prem. Contrast him with Anders Svensson of Saints for example.
A final anecdote. At half-time in a corridor of the South Africa Road Stand I am known to frequent I saw Boa darting towards an exec box with a plate of profiteroles. Despite my 20 stone and 6’1 inch frame (Nick Bylund will tell you that’s a lot of kilos) I had the temerity to tell young Luis that such food was not good for him. He flashed me a trademark smile and claimed ‘The’re not for me, the’re for my friends’. I didn’t believe him: but at least he wasn’t limping.
Later my Scandinavian friends and COYW!
Neal Garnett
21 Feb 2003
