BOXING DAY News In Brief
Annandag Jul notiser från Leif Thomas.
Hot Blades!
Kevin McCabe misplaced.
For details see sports section.
Orange 1/2 off.
-Kenny Hibbitt
Everything I do either makes NOISE or STINKS.
-Alan Pardew
Want Ads
You can call me Big Sam :
I want to meet slender female, young, blonde,
lovely & affectionate.
Mourinho LATEST Man on the Moon.
BOXING DAY QUESTION :
What Is Your Favorite Thing?
John Berylson, The Lions Chairman :
"Hooliganism or Hot Dogs or Red Sox."
Andy Carroll, West Ham :
"Wildflowers."
Lady Imogen Boleyn :
"Point that thing somewhere else."
Karren Brady :
"What thing?"
Daniel Levy, Spurs Chairman :
"A lamb gone ape!"
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Arséne Wenger - Public Enemy Number One.
Wanted in six county´s for putting rotten fish
in people´s shoes.
WEST HAM STAR James Tomkins found alive and well
in hotel bed. Fourteen of his closest friends were there
with him. The naked ladies gave their names in
alphabetic order.
SCORING, (PREMIER LEAGUE)
Player Club Goals
F. "Super-Mac" McAvennie West Ham 17
S. Aguero Man. City 14
V. Putin Chelsea 13
Charlie Chaplin QPR 11
A. Sanchez Arsenal 9
SOCIETY SECTION Sir Alex Ferguson and his wife have sold
their eighty-four room mansion. They will be leaving for
Aberdeen with the Peace Corps where Sir Alex plans to clothe
all the scarecrows in Red Devil sweatshirts and his wife
will teach the local farmers how to make snowballs for their
drinks.
SCIENCE DEPARTMENT Specimens of a small, former football
player have been observed at Boleyn Ground. The phenomenon
is also known as Revolutions Time or "Tiddler" Time.
Did you know that a HUG that lasts for 20 seconds
can make someone lose weight.
Russell Brand hugging Sam Allardyce?
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Mr. Maiga lies in his bed in a back ward of a state hospital,
staring at a wall. He hasn´t spoken for a year. He is not much
trouble - it is fairly easy to feed and clean him. He probably
will be kept alive for many years to come.
-David Sullivan
HAPPY NEW YEAR!
-Leif Thomas
