Singing the Blues - 5. Rivalerna
“Small club in Arsenal!“ Nidramsan till Tottenham är bara en av många och det finns förstås andra avskydda lag. Femte delen av ”Singing The Blues” sätter RIVALERNA i fokus.
Redan i slutet på 60-talet började hyllningarna till det egna laget kompletteras av elaka sånger om motståndarna. Med tiden tog de formen av ibland humoristiska påhopp men ofta, särskilt under det huliganstinna 70- och 80-talet, av hatfyllda ramsor centrerade kring våld. Det var också en epok då det blev sport att ta andra klackars läktare och National Front skapade sig ett inflytande bland de många skinheadsen på The Shed. De senaste decennierna har karaktären på sångerna ändrats, men det är förstås inget vänligt som fansen har att säga om lag som Manchester United, Liverpoool och framför allt Tottenham.
VARNING. Det förekommer på sina ställen sånger/ramsor vars budskap har lite med Chelseafans av i dag att göra. Men då detta är en historisk dokumentation kring Chelseafans sjungande finns många opassande sånger med, även om vissa rensats bort.
TOTTENHAM
Länk
We hate Tottenham, and we hate Tottenham,
we hate Tottenham, and we hate Tottenham,
we hate Tottenham, and we hate Tottenham,
we are Tottenham haters..
Mel: Go West (Village People)
3-1, and you fucked it up,
3-1, and you fucked it up…
Kuriosa: Sjungs til spursarna som en påminnelse om vad som hände i FA-cupen 2007, när Tottenham tappade en 3-1-ledning till omspel och sedemera förlust.
Mel: We’ll support you evermore
Normal service
Normal service
Normal service has resumed
Normal service has resumed
Kuriosa: Som en påminnelse om att det är Chelseasegrar som är ”normal service”.
Länk
There’s no bacon, There’s no bacon,
There’s no bacon, at the Lane
There’s no bacon, There’s no bacon,
There’s no bacon, at the Lane
Länk
(efter 15 sek)
We won 6-1, We won 6-1
We won 6-1 at The Lane,
We won 6-1, We won 6-1
We won 6-1 at The Lane,
Mel: She’ll be coming round the mountain
Länk
We'll be running around Tottenham with our willies hanging out
We'll be running around Tottenham with our willies hanging out
Singing I've got a foreskin, haven’t you? (no, you ain't!)
Singing I've got a foreskin, haven’t you? (no, you ain't!)
Singing I've got a foreskin,
I've got a foreskin
I've got a foreskin, haven’t you? (no, you ain't!)
Yiddo, Yiddo
Mel: Seasons in the Sun (Terry Jacks)
We had joy, we had fun
We had Tottenham on the run
But the fun didn't last
'Cause the bastards ran too fast
Mel: My old man
My old man said be a Tottenham fan,
I said fuck off, bollocks, you're a cunt.
We'll take the North stand in half a minute,
We'll take the South End and all that's in it.
With hatchets and hammers,
Carving knives and spanners
We'll show them Tottenham bastards what to do
You'll be dead in a minute, if your hearts not in it,
And you're not wearing the blue.
Mel: Run Rabbit Run
Run Tottenham, run Tottenham, run, run, run,
We are the Shed Boys,
And we’ve all got a gun,
So run Tottenham, run Tottenham, run, run, run,
Mel: Let’s Dance
Hey Tottenham, do you wanna fight?
Fight the lads in blue and white,
Oh, let’s fight
(klapp-klapp-klapp-klapp, klapp-klap, klapp, klapp, klapp)
Oh, let’s fight
Mel: My Bonnie lies over the ocean
If I had the wings of a Sparrow
And the arse of a dirty old Crow
I'd fly over Tottenham tomorrow
And shit on those bastards below
Shit on, shit on,
I'd shit on those bastards below, below
Shit on, shit on
I'd shit on those bastards below.
Mel: Slip Slidin’ away (Paul Simon)
Slip slidin' away
Slip slidin' away
You know you're near to relegation
Whats more you're slip slidin' away!
Tiptoe,
Past the Tottenham,
With some roast pork
and a bacon sandwhich
Mel: When smoke get in your eyes
They asked me how I knew, that Chivers was a jew
I of course replied, with a fucking nose that size,
he's been circumcised
Kuriosa: Började sjungas till Tottenhamspelaren Martin Chivers i samband med första kvartsfinalen i ligacupen 1972.
Mel: Hersham Boys (Sham 69)
Melodilänk
Tottenham boys, Tottenham boys,
No pork pies or saveloys
Rangers boys, Rangers boys,
They make more noise with Tonka toys
Chelsea boys, Chelsea boys,
Laced up boots and corduroys
Länk
The famous Tottenham Hotspur went to Rome to see the pope,
The famous Tottenham Hotspur went to Rome to see the pope,
The famous Tottenham Hotspur went to Rome to see the pope,
And this is what he said
Fuck off!
Who's that team they call the Chelsea?
Who's that team we all adore?
They're the boys in Blue and White,
And we'll fight with all our might,
And we're going to show the world the way to score.
(And we're out to show the world how to score)
Bring on Tottenham and the Arsenal,
Bring on Spaniards (spastics or even scousers) by the score.
Barcelona, Real Madrid
Tottenham are a bunch (load) of yids,
And we're out to show the world how to score
Yiddos Yiddos Yiddos
Mel: Let Him Go, Let Him Harry
If your tired and weary,
And you got a jew boys nose.
You'll get your fucking head kicked in,
When you walk down the Fulham Road.
And as you pass the Rising Sun,
You'll hear a mighty noise.
Fuck off you Tottenham bastards,
We are the North Stand Boys.
Now Big Jim is their leader,
He's got a heart of gold.
But he hasn't had a foreskin,
Since he was one day old.
And as you walk in the Park Lane End,
You'll hear a mighty wail.
Big Jim is our leader,
The King of Israel.
Mel: Spurs are on their way to Wembley
Spurs are on their way to Auschwitz,
Hitler's gonna gas 'em again,
We can't stop them,
The yids from Tottenham,
The yids from White Hart Lane
Oh Spurs are on there way to Auschwitz
Oh the yids
You should have seen them running
Running out the park lane end
Because the shed was coming
Big Tim, Danny chives
You should have seen their faces
Running down the White hart lane
All dressed in Boots and braces
Chelsea Chelsea
Mel: Sing a song of sixpence
Sing a song of sixpence
A pocket full of rye
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie
And when the pie was opened the birds began to sing
We hate Tottenham, and we hate Tottenham.
We are the Tottenham haters.
Mel: Red Flag
From Stamford Hill to White Hart Lane
The place is full of Yids again
Yids again, yids again
We've come to beat the yids again
From Stamford Hill to White Hart Lane
The place is full of Yids again
He's only a poor little Yiddo,
Who stands at the back of the shelf.
He goes to the bar, to buy a lager,
and only buys one for his self.
He's only a poor little yiddo, yiddo, yiddo.
Does your Rabbi, does your Rabbi
Does your Rabbi know you're here?
Does your Rabbi know you're here?
Kuriosa: Från FA-cupmatch 1982
Small club in Arsenal
You're just a small club in Arsenal
Small club in Aaaa-rsenal
CFC, CFC,
Chelsea are the team for me,
With a nick-nack-paddy-wack, give the dog a bone,
Why don't Tottenham fuck off home!
They call him Gazza, Gazza
Wot a fat bastard
Everyone knows
He broke his wife's nose
Kuriosa: Till hustrumisshandlaren Paul Gascoigne.
Mel: My ding-a-ling
When I was a little biddy boy
My grandpa gave me a cute little toy
A Tottenham yid on a string
And this is what he told me to do with him
Kick his fucking head in
His fucking head in
He told me to kick his fucking head in
His fucking head in
His fucking head in
He told me to kick his fucking head in
Länk
As I was walking down
singing
I saw Martin Jol standing there, ALL ALONE, ALL ALONE,
I said dear Martin, what's up my friend? He said the Park Lane's run again,
Singing, singing Chelsea are the champions, singing, singing Chelsea are the Kings
Kuriosa: Kan bytas ut mot Old Trafford/Alex Ferguson/Stretford End eller Anfield Road/Rafa Benitez/Kop End.
ARSENAL
Mel: Walking in a Winter Wonderland
There's only one Arsene Wenger
One Arsene Wenger
With a packet of sweets
And a cheeky smile
Wenger is a fucking paedophile
Mel: A brick in the wall (Pink Floyd)
Hey Arsene, leave those kids alone
All in all it's just a-nother kid
From the school.
Mel: Guantanamera
One British Airways
There's only one British Airways
One British Airways
There's only one British Airways
Kuriosa: Till flygrädde Dennis Bergkamp, fansen med armarna utsträckta som vingar.
It's just like playing Tottenham
It's just like playing Tottenham
Mel: One man went to mow
One man went to laugh,
Went to laugh at Arsenal,
One man and his dog Spot
Went to laugh at Arsenal.
Two man went to laugh,
….etc
I,yi,yi,yi,
Bonetti is better than Yashin,
Osgood is better than Eusebio,
And Arsenal are in for a thrashing.
Kuriosa: Nu snackar vi gammalt, tidigt 70-tal.
Länk
Same old Arsenal,
always cheating...
MANCHESTER UNITED
Mel. Glory, glory Man United
Länk
Who the fuck are Man United
Who the fuck are Man United
Who the fuck are Man United
As the Blues goes matching on, on, on!
Kuriosa: Mycket populär under andra halvan av 90-talet, men sjungs fortfarande.
Mel: Go West (Village People)
Stand up if you hate Man U
Stand up if you hate Man U
Kuriosa: Standardsång på många läktare under 90-talet. På vissa pubar kördes en version med “sit down” i stället, då hela barpersonalen också var med på det. Sången har somnat in numera. En version på samma melodi var:
Breathe in if you hate Man U
Breathe out if you hate Man U
Mel: Carefree
Park, Park whever you may be,
You eat dogs in your own country,
But it could be worse,
You could be Scouse,
Eating rats in your council house
Kuriosa: Faktiskt Man U-fans som lanserade den, men CFC-fans gillar den också.
He's fat, he's scouse,
He'll rob your fucking house,
Wayne Rooney, Wayne Rooney
Mel: It’s amore
Who put the ball in the Old Trafford net?
It's Vialli!
He nutmegged the Dane and poor Fergie's in pain
It's Vialli!
Kuriosa: Vialli segermål mellan benen på Peter Schmeichel är ett ljuvt minne för många. En annan version var:
When the ball hits the back of the Old Trafford net
It's Vialli
Who's that lying on the runway?
Who's that lying in the snow?
It's Matt Busby and his boys,
and they don't make a lot of noise.
’cause they can't get their aeroplane to go.
Kuriosa: Avdelningen smaklösa sånger – en hänvisning till den tragiska flygolyckan i München 1958 då flera Man U-spelare omkom.
12 went up, 7 died, now Man U play 5 a side
Kuriosa: Ännu en smaklös hänvisning till München-kraschen som tack och lov hör till en svunnen tid. Det finns sedan en alldeles för lång rad av sånger om just denna München-olycka, men det här räcker mer än väl.
Mel: Standing On The Corner
Standing on the Stretford End
Throwing bricks at Denis Law,
Manchester is on big brothel,
Denis Law is the biggest whore.
Kuriosa: Från slutet på 60-talet.
They came down to Wembley one fine day in May,
And all the supporters were happy & gay,
And when it was over & when it was done,
Benfica were beaten by 4 goals to 1.
The first was scored by wee Georgie Best,
The second, when Bobby out jumped the rest,
They said it was over but I never did,
And the third was scored by young Brian Kidd.
The Stretford end cried out, they cried out for more,
And Bobby obliged, by making it four.
The team to remember, the team to recall,
Was the great Man Utd the pride of them all.
The came down to Chelsea in ྇,
They took up the west stand,
The shed & the side,
But Chelsea were many, too many to ruck,
And the great Man Utd got battered to fuck
Too-ralooo Too-raloo
The great man Utd got battered to fuck
We went to Old Trafford in ྊ
And the whole of Manchester was lying in wait,
But Chelsea were mental cos we had our pride,
And the whole of Manchester had nowhere to hide.
Too-ralooo Too-raloo
The whole of Manchester had nowhere to hide.
LIVERPOOL
No noise, from the unemployed
Kuriosa: På Anfield i augusti 2007.
Mel: Carefree
Fuck off Liverpool FC
We all know it's jealousy
Cause we're the future and you're the past
So stick your history up your ass!
Kuriosa: Liverpoolfans gör en egen version av Carefree (“Fuck off Chelsea FC), Chelsea har svarat med denna.
Mel: Carefree
Länk
Fuck off Liverpool FC,
Heysel and Hilsborough’s your history,
And we dont give a fuck about Stevie G,
JT got the captaincy!
Kuriosa: Kom som version när John Terry 2006 fick den engelska lagkaptensbindeln och inte Steven Gerrard.
You let your country down
Kuriosa: Till Jamie Carragher, som nobbat spel för England. Sjöngs tillsammans med ”Traitor” på Anfield 2007.
Mel: You’ll never walk alone
Länk
Sign on, sign on,
With a pen in your hand,
‘cause you’ll never get a job,
You’ll never get a job
Länk
In your Liverpool slums
You look in the dustbin for something to eat
You find a dead cat and you think it's a treat
in your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums
You speak in an accent exceedingly rare
You wear a pink tracksuit and have curly hair
in your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums
Your mum's on the game and your dad's in the nick
You can't get a job 'cos you're too fucking thick
in your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums
You look in the alley for something to mourn,
You find a dead chicken before it's been born
in your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums
You whinge in an accent that makes you seem thick,
An accurate assessment you stupid scouse dick.
in your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums
You trample on people although they're your mates,
Then plead you’re not guilty but you stormed the gates.
in your Liverpool slums
In your Liverpool slums
You cry crocodile tears for Ities you killed,
And then blame Hillsboro on dodgey old bill.
in your Liverpool slums
Kuriosa: Sjungs ofta och mycket - men bara första versen.
Mel: You are my sunshine
You are a scouser, an ugly scouser
You're only happy, on giro day
Your mums out stealing, your dads out dealing
Oh please don’t take my hubcaps away
2-0 down, 4-2 up
We knocked Scousers out the Cup
Kuriosa: Hyllning till den magiska FA-cupmatchen 1997.
Mel: Liver Bird
Länk
If you're standing on a corner
With a red scarf round your neck,
Chelsea fans will come and get ya
And we'll break your fuckin' neck
La la la la, la la la la, la la la la, la la la la,
Mel: Do they know it’s Christmas
Feed a scouser
Let them know its Christmas time
Leave the alloys
Leave the alloys
Leave the alloys on my car
Leave the alloys on my car
Get giro, get giro,
Go down the pub get plastered,
Go back home and beat your wife,
’cause your a Northern Bastard
Kuriosa: Från bortaresor på 80-talet.
Sing when you're thieving
You only sing when you're thieving
Mel: Ghostbusters
Who we gonna kill?
Scouse bastards!
Mel: Halls of Montezuma
In the deepest, darkest Liverpool
Where the white man's seldom seen,
Lies the mutilated body of a scouser
Where the North Stand's kicked him in.
Fair thee well to Manchester,
Fair thee well to Merseyside,
We will fight , fight , fight for Chelsea
Till we've won the football league.
Mel: Standing On The Corner
Standing on the Spion Kop End
Throwing bricks at Roger Hunt,
Liverpool is on big brothel,
Roger Hunt is the biggest cunt.
Kuriosa: Från slutet på 60-talet.
LEEDS
Mel: Dambusters March
Länk
We all hate Leeds and Leeds
And Leeds and Leeds and Leeds and Leeds
And Leeds and Leeds and Leeds and Leeds
We all Fucking hate Leeds
Kuriosa: Sjungs fortfarande ofta av old school fans.
Mel: We hate Tottenham
We all hate Leeds and we all hate Leeds
We all hate Leeds and we all hate Leeds
We all hate Leeds and we all hate Leeds
We are the Leeds haters
Kuriosa: Det är som om avskyn för Chelsea inte behöver vidareutvecklas.
Mel: Guantanamera
Piss in your water
We're gonna piss in your water
Piss in your waaaater
Kuriosa: Till Leeds när Yorkshire led av en omfattande vattenbrist 1976.
WEST HAM
Mel: I’m forever blowing bubbles
Länk
(efter 30 sek)
I'm forever blowing bubbles
Pretty bubbles in the air
They fly so high they reach the sky
But like West Ham they fade and die
Tottenham always running, Arsenal running too
We are the Chelsea boot boys and we're running after you
Kuriosa: Sjungs fortfarande på pubarna emellanåt.
Chim chimeree,
Chim chimeree,
Chim chim cheroo,
We hate the bastards in claret and blue
Kuriosa: Sjungs fortfarande en del.
Mel: Red flag
From Upton Park to anywhere
You still ain't got no silverware
Mel: Oh My Darling
Build a Bonfire,
Build a Bonfire,
Stick a yiddo on the top,
Put West Ham in the middle and then burn the
fucking lot...
FULHAM
Länk
One team in Fulham,
There’s only one team in Fulham
One team in Fuuulham
There’s only one team in Fulham
Länk
We forgot,
We forgot,
We forgot that you were 'ere,
We forgot that you were 'ere..
Shit fans no ground
Shit fans no ground
We hate Harrods and we hate Harrods
We are the Harrods haters
Kuriosa: Förstås en hänvisning till Fulhams och varuhuset Harrods ägare, Mohamed al-Fayed.
QUEENS PR
Mel: Oops up inside your head (Snap)
Who are QPR say who are QPR?
Kuriosa: Från 80-talet.
QP-R, QP-R
QP-Ha, ha, ha,
Kuriosa: Från 70-talet.
CELTIC
When I was young I had no sense
I bought a flute for 50 pence
And on that flute I used to play
Fuck the pope and the IRA.
No surrender, no surrender, no surrender, no surrender to the IRA (scum!)
Kuriosa: Sjöngs mycket och i många olika sammanhang tidigare, men mindre ofta nu. Dök dock inte oväntat upp i repertoaren när Chelsea och Glasgow Rangers-fans strålade samman på Ibrox i samband med en försäsongsmatch sommaren 2007.
