A call to Dwayne...
För er oinsatta så råder det en härlig bitterljuv rivalitet mellan Vita Hästen och Örebro HK i Division1. Örebros ordförande Mikael Fahlander håller en hockeyblogg på Hockeysverige.se där han lade upp ett humoristiskt inlägg där han låtsades ringa upp Vita Hästens kanadick, Mike Egener, för ett samtal - nu kontrar vi med ett glimten-i-ögat "samtal" till deras kickade supervärvning Dwayne Hay. Håll till godo...
Ring-Ring ... Ring-Ring
(Någon lyfter luren)
-Yeah hello?
-Hi Dwayne, my name is Franco and I’m calling you from Sweden and was wondering if I could ask you a few questions, do have time?
-Sure, no problem.
-Thanks, it won't take long, just a few questions about your stay in Örebro.
-Ooh, don’t remind me of it, worst place I ever visited. Just entering their arena made me depressed, it felt like a time-travel to the Sovjet Union in 1972 or something.
-I hear you man, been there myself and almost froze my ass off, took several days before I got back to my real self again.
-Well, imagine how it would feel to spend every day in that shithole, now that I know, I would rather hang myself than go back there again.
-Really?
-Hell yeah, the money was good but the spirit and environment totally sucked, bigtime! Tell the world and save those poor bastards that can be saved…
-Will do, will do… But Fahlander claims that the salaries ain’t that high, any comments?
-Nah, not the ones from the club, but he gave me a good deal on a “no-show” job at one of the sponsors as he didn’t want to strain the clubs economy, so the money was freaking great. My buddy Gordie told me about it after his last trip so I felt I just had to give it a try, he warned me about the depressing environment but.. Hey, I didn’t think it was THAT bad.
-But how come Fahlander can come up with those kind of jobs and what’s the deal?
-Sorry man but I can't go into detail on the no-show job, Fahlander would sue my ass. But he’s well connected in Oorebraa's or wonderbra's, or what ever the towns name is, business life and without him and all his contacts the club wouldn’t even play in Swedish Division-2. The hockey interest is close to zero in that town and it sucked playing for some 200 lonely souls a game, totally uninspiring. Besides, all they sung was shit about the other teams and no one cheered their own, what’s up with that?
-Sorry Dwayne but I don’t know, it’s a mystery even for us Swedes. They’re from Örebro so what’s to expect… No matter where you come, all you can hear is complaints about their supporters. But tell me a little about you being sacked.
-Well, it’s kind a twisted bro, first of all I felt totally misplaced there and didn’t like it, but as a professional I always give my best. When I got there they told me that I was hired as a roleplayer and wanted me to play hard and rough, hold the puck in offensive zone and get rid of the the competitor playmakers, my job wasn’t to score. Then all over sudden they started complaining about me underachieving as I wasn’t among the scoring leaders and shit, so I told them to go f**k themselves as I didn’t want to stay there anyway. But I heard that they replaced me with some Finnish dude..?
-Yeah, Mikko Laine, if they thought you underachieved and didn’t score enough, you should see this guy…
-Oh, hehe, Gordie told me about him, heard he didn’t even made it in the third line. Doesn’t surprise me as my buddy over there said that this Mikko fella went there for the same reason as the rest of us, to collect the cash and get a nice summerbreak, so I can’t blame him you know…
-Nah, it’s cool, I understand, I would do the same. But thanks for taking your time and good luck with your career.
-No problem, and oh, say hello to Mike from me, I talked to him the other day and he said that he got a nice welcoming and was blessed to come to a team with nice supporters and that the team mates were really cool guys and liked the city.
-Sure, I’ll do that, take care.
-You too buddy.
Det finstilta: För er känsliga läsare från 019-trakten så har detta samtal inte ägt rum på riktigt. Det är menat att vara lite humor, men jag ser fram mot massor av kommentarer som förklarar hur dålig humor jag har och hur kass skribent jag är. Go for it, you can do it!
